Love Hurts script is credited to three people: a writing team and one individual. I have no idea who wrote what in this action-comedy rom-com and I am deciding against naming them because one thing is obvious: Universal let one of them screw up this movie. The studio obviously didn’t trust the film director JoJo Eusebio delivered, so Universal had someone add in the most forced, embarrassing voiceover narration you’ll ever hear to try and cover up Love Hurts‘ other problems.
Instead, it made said problems worse, and that makes an otherwise fun movie with some really great performances, comedy, and fight scenes barely likable.
Love Hurts is like a box of chocolates where ever candy is a 50/50 proposition. Things are either really tasty (its stars, fight sequences, and humor), or they taste like garbage (themes, inane voiceover, and lack of identity).
The good in Love Hurts is really good. Ke Huy Quan is wholly believable as Marvin Gable, a man who is–to borrow a phrase from Vince Gilligan—both Mr. Chips and Scarface. He plays an upbeat, friendly realtor who previously worked as his underworld kingpin brother’s most menacing muscle. It’s a perfect role for the Oscar-winner, as he gets to use his comedic chops, natural charm, and martial arts skills in equal parts. His fellow Academy Award-winner Ariana DeBose is also fantastic. She gives a real movie star performance as Rose, the woman Marv loves. Marvin spared her life years earlier, but when Rose returns around Valentine’s Day, his old life comes looking for both of them. And her arrival brings knives, guns, fists, and feet to find them.
That leads to what are easily the film’s best scenes: its action sequences. Love Hurts features a whole lot of clever, hyper violent, well shot, fight scenes that owe a lot to classic Jackie Chan films. They’re over-the-top and brutal. They had my packed screening’s audience laughing while also gasping at the violence.
It also helps that many fights feature three of the film’s funniest characters. Mustafa Shakir plays a stoic knife-loving poet assassin who ends up in the movie’s funniest subplot. Meanwhile, Marshawn Lynch and André Eriksen are having a blast as the goon squad duo King and Otis. They’re so much fun together, I’d gladly go see their own spinoff. And Lio Tipton, who plays Marv’s depressed lovesick assistant, and Rhys Darby, a slimy accountant for Marv’s brother, are also excellent in their supporting roles.
The rest of the cast ranges from “not good” to “I have no idea because their characters are barely developed,” but no one really detracts from the film. I just wish Daniel Wu, who plays Marv’s brother Knucles, got to do more because he’s very good in the little we see of him. With a super tight (and wonderful ) runtime of just 83 minutes, the film definitely could have given us a few more scenes to establish the brothers’ connection. It also could have used Sean Astin as more than “a guy with some lines.”
Even that wouldn’t have been necessary if the film solely focused on being a very funny, very violent action-comedy. When it does that Love Hurts is incredibly entertaining, with numerous laugh out loud moments. Having one of Hollywood’s most likable actors use kitchenware to beat up much larger goons is a successful strategy!
The problem is that we only get that movie half the time. Sometimes Love Hurts goes from action-comedy to black comedy, and the tonal shift is too much. Certain characters meet fates that are totally out of place for the movie you’ve been watching. That wouldn’t be an issue if that’s what the film wanted to be, or if it stayed in that lane once it crossed over. The issue is that it picks a few spots to get really dark and then goes right back to its much lighter tone. It’s as though the movie confuses its “violence” for “darkness,” but they’re not even close to the same. The movie’s inability to understand why hurts it.
There’s also no development of the film’s own (repeatedly) stated themes of facing the past and the power of love. Marvin has to face his past, we’re told …and told …and told. But the script doesn’t really explain why since he’d done an amazing job moving on. The result is a complete lack of emotional payoff at the end. There’s no real catharsis despite the film thinking there will be. Love Hurts makes you fully invest in the survival of real estate plaque, yet can’t make you care about the estranged brothers’ relationship. It also doesn’t do a very good job with its main love story, which is more like a love concept of a story.
And that’s where the historically awful voiceover narration seems to have come from. Love Hurts tries to be too many genres all at once. It fails to develop its own ideas. It can’t make us care about the thing it obviously wants us to care about. So someone had the idea to “fix” those issues with a ham-fisted narration that comes out of nowhere. It’s also totally inconsistent and lacks a coherent point-of-view. In some cases, characters narrate something they easily could have said to someone else. It’s really awful and totally jarring. The writer who added it should be glad they share a screenwriting credit on this film so no one knows who to blame.
Whether anyone making the movie realized it or not, Love Hurts desperately wants to be an entertaining action-comedy. That’s clearly what it was meant to be. And when it’s allowed to be exactly that, it’s really good. It’s ultimately why I am leaning every so slightly (by the thinnest margin possible) to giving it a decent score. But anytime Love Hurts is forced, sometimes literally because of that cringey narration, to be something else it’s bad.
Considering Valentine’s Day itself can be really hit or miss, that’s almost fitting. But it’s not what you want from a movie.
Love Hurts ⭐ (3 of 5)
Love Hurts comes to theaters on February 6, 2025.
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Source: Kiat Media
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